Movie Review: “The Big Bang” (-)
May 16, 2011
I regret having to write about absurd, god-awful movies week after week, but this is another ridiculous film.
When I arrived at the theater on a Friday evening after my Bloomberg radio show, I intended to catch the 8:30 p.m. screening of “Bridesmaids.” Unfortunately, it was sold out, so I decided to see “The Big Bang” since tickets were available and it was about to begin. I had not read any advance reviews of the movie. Big mistake. It is a shambles.
A private investigator, Ned Cruz (Antonio Banderas), is hired by Anton Protopov (Robert Maillet), a giant boxer who has just been released from a life sentence in prison. Anton, referred to as “the Pro,” is searching for Lexie Persimmon (Sienna Guillory), an ex-stripper with whom he corresponded while incarcerated.
The film opens with Ned tied to a chair being interrogated by three men. Through flashbacks we learn of the efforts of a mad scientist, Simon Kestral (Sam Elliott), to build a particle reactor. He hopes to separate atoms and the smallest of nuclear particles and recreate the big bang that created the universe 13 billion years ago. Somehow or other, never really explained, 30 million dollars worth of diamonds are also involved which Protopov received to take a dive in a prizefight with a gangster’s nephew.
As I sat there listening to the narrator, I thought of the old radio stories like Ellery Queen during which a voiceover attempts to keep the audience informed. When listening to the radio, your mind helps create the script and fantasy. Not so with a movie scene where the script is created by the writers and the acting by the performers. In this film, neither script nor acting were adequate.
After seeing the movie I read Stephen Holden’s review in The Times. He sees it much more as a parody and a highbrow effort to bring quantum physics into our lives in what would otherwise be a simple film noir. Ridiculous. The movie puts down film audiences with a pretentiousness that requires a kick in the rear end to all involved. Moviegoers have responded to this picture in the best possible way by staying away. There were only six other people in the theater the night I saw it.
Henry Stern said: “I agree that this movie is among the worst I have ever seen. It was totally contrived, with random violence, periodic cursing and supernatural catastrophe. The first half was a stereotypical private-eye story. Then it morphed into Area 51 science-fiction, with a Howard Hughes type, aided by a gay geek, building a supercollider. Banderas is tied up for most of the film and periodically slugged while he tells his tale, largely in confusing flashbacks. It was strange to see modern technology and special effects used to illustrate such a trite film. The producers must have known while making the movie that it was a bomb, but they kept on with the job. “The Big Bang” lives up to its title, but it happens in a seedy motel room, which is scarcely the universe.”
